It is about 36 0r 35 days until Lalapalooza, where I will celebrate my birthday and see Lady Gaga for the very first time.
My name is Cookie Caldwell. That is not my real name, but it is the name my friends and I have chosen for myself. My real name is boring, and typical, and I am not that. I am wild, and fun. Some people think that I am living a secret life, because I go by Cookie... but I'm not. I do the same thing.. every single day.
I have one of the most boring lives it seems, but at the same time it is very exciting and fresh, because of my love for music, especially Lady Gaga's music.
I am trans gendered. Gender Queer. Girl in a boys body. Whatever way is easier for you to understand. I am not a trans sexual, I don't live my life like this for fun. This is really who I am. When I used to tell people I was gay, they would harass me, and make me feel like shit because I was gay. Then, when I finally found freedom, and became who I am, the harassment came to a halt, for the most part.
I feel like I found myself after I started to listening to Lady Gaga.
The way I felt listening to her music, made me feel superior, and awesome.
Her first album "The Fame' is amazing. When I think back to who I was before "The Fame" I see someone who was sad, alone, and insecure. I spent the entire summer listening to Lady Gaga, everyday my sisters and I would jump around and sing Lady Gaga, we would feel happy, famous, and wonderful.
I was just about to give up on going back to school for my senior year, but during the summer I changed. I bleached my hair, I learned how to shave without cutting my neck, I shaved my legs, my arm pits, my arms, my feet. I started to pluck my eyebrows, and I started to put on make up. I felt real, and I felt happy. I felt like this is who I really am. Before I knew it I was ready for my last year of High School.
Lady Gaga inspired me to be who I wanted to be. I saw the way she wore her hair, the way that clothes looked on her. I started to replicate her look, and make it into something of my own. I think thats why my Senior class said that in ten years, I'd be on tour with Lady Gaga, and voted me most creatively dressed. It's weird that I will be forever burned into my classmates memories as someone who would MOST LIKELY end up tour with Lady Gaga..
Most people would say that I'm obsessed.
Maybe I am.
but I'm not alone...
I made friends with people all over the world on Twitter, because we all shared the same burning love with Lady Gaga, and thats what I need.
In my real life, I share a 3 bedroom duplex with my Mother, my aunt Kook,my cousin Jacob, my Uncle Pat, my two sisters, my niece, and myself.
I hardly ever get a moment to myself.
Kook, she is kind of a worry wart, always running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off, crying over some sort of "tragedy". Always paranoid, and always scared. She is OBSESSED with people eating, always asking "have something to eat." "have you had anything to eat?" is it any wonder why her name is Kook?
Uncle Pat, all he does is mumble and groan.
He cant use a cell phone because his fingers are too big, and he gets really mad, and always destroys something. He sits outside, under the shade tree all day long, and every time I look out the window I always see him talking to somebody new. Pat hates me. He never talks to me, he never looks at me. When I go outside, he goes in. When I go inside he goes to sleep.
My Mother, I dont know how she does it. If all of these people here are driving me insane I wonder what it is doing to her. She had already quit drinking for almost 8 months, and has recently picked back up on the "art" that is beer drinking, I think because of the bunch of miserable people clogged into one house.
My younger sister is always gone, with her boyfriend and lesbian friend.
My older sister is always working.
I babysit for Lalapalooza tickets.
I live for Lalapalooza tickets.
I need Lalapalooza tickets.
